The Purple Moose Gazette: Seeking

September 02, 2005

Seeking

Kevin's mom and I have been looking for one photo in particular for tomorrow. I can sense Kevin's glee as that picture eludes us. Each one of us who is seeking have all said at one time or another "I just saw it . . . " (recently, the other day, just awhile ago, etc.)

And yet, none of us can find it.

I am thinking that we are meant to see it only in our minds. It is a much clearer photo, perhaps, in our mind's eye. And, it brought some giggles to all of us today as we recalled the occasion of the taking of the picture. That, in itself, is healing.

Laughter - gallow's humor - comic relief moments. Each of them as out of place, maybe, as a fart in church as my mother-in-law would have said. However, with each bit of comedy, each laugh, we are a step closer to healing.

The family viewing yesterday was tough. Lessa was a pillar of strength to her kids and to all of us, though. She and her dad went in first - the director had asked her to see if he had done all that she had wanted him to do.

Then she took the children and after a moment I joined them.

Reality hit home pretty quickly. The children were able to see that this was really true - it brought closure for them which was needed.

Not very many people attended. It wasn't advertised and was designed as a private family time. I know that Lessa appreciated everyone who came.

Today was a quieter day - a de-stressing day, maybe. Lessa had some phone work to do and then she and I did some road work. She has had some visitors and that is a good thing for her also.

Again, thank you all for your thoughts and your prayers. Saturday at 1 p.m. Alaska time is another time we'd ask for your support as that is when the memorial service will take place.

I know that many in the bigger blog world are all discussing the terrible hurricane aftermath in New Orleans - I know that our tragedy does not compare with the feelings of those folks. Intellectually I know all that. And, yet I also know that Kevin's loss is as big a tragedy to our family as is the loss of homes, levees, and loved ones is to those families involved. Thanks for allowing me a space for introspection.

Posted by Purplemoose at September 2, 2005 11:28 PM

Comments

I am reminded of my grandmother's service some 20 years ago. I have never been in a room full of such deep sadness. It was so all encompassing that it caused physical pain, like a crushing wall of rocks pinning everyone to their grief.

It all seemed so dire until the old ladies my grandmother loved so dearly took the microphone to sing their last respects. God bless them but they were terrible. Like a cat with it's tail slammed in a screen door. We had to endure this for the length of "How Great Thou Art".

My cousin Becky said just loud enough for the front row to hear "Well they sure ain't the Pointer Sisters, huh?" I swear we could hear Grandma giggle from Heaven and muffled laughter made it's way from our row to the rear. Soon everyone was howling into their hankerchiefs and from the outside, I'm sure it seemed we were wailing with grief. I knew then, as my tears of laughter flowed, that we'd all be okay.

Posted by: Lisa at September 3, 2005 07:05 AM

One of my cousins was a very respected doctor in Houston; he and his wife were badly injured in a car wreck on the way back from his brother's medical school graduation on Father's Day weekend about ten years ago. His three brothers were always huge "commenters" who always had *something* to say; without a doubt, they had us cracking up at the rosary and incurring the wrath of the elders within fifteen minutes. And we took great joy in knowing that Dr. B would have said something just as funny if he were there.

I'll be thinking of you today. Peace.

Posted by: Skatemom at September 3, 2005 09:38 AM

My family is a huge fan of gallow's humor. It heals, it really does, and we shocked the HELL out of my SIL when she first experienced it. She's one of us now though.

Lisa, we would have been in the front row hooting like hell at how bad they were!! we just cant help it.

Barbara, I once again am so very sorry for the loss in your family, You will find his picture right after the service!! It always works that way!! God Bless.

Posted by: mary lou at September 3, 2005 11:28 AM